With over half the population in the UK alone being single, it’s clear to see that relationships are nowhere near as prevalent and stable as they were a couple of decades ago. In today’s society, considering the amount of online dating services available, making a commitment to just one person is becoming rarer – especially in men.
Generally speaking, men appear to be more afraid of commitment than women. Many studies have been carried out to establish why this may be the case, and to identify any possible cures or methods these men can use to get over their commitment phobia. So, if you or someone you know wants to settle down but is still struggling with commitment issues, read on to discover what it actually is, why it may be happening, and potential cures for the problem.
What is commitment phobia?
In its rawest form, commitment phobia is when someone has fear or anxiety surrounding long-term relationships. Those suffering from this often feel the exact same emotions of love and affection as everyone else, but their anxiety towards the actual status of a long-term relationship is often very overwhelming. This can cause them to end new relationships prematurely without warning, or prevent them from getting into proper romantic relationships altogether.
Whilst both men and women can suffer from commitment phobia, it’s more commonly associated with men.
Causes of commitment phobia
Like the majority of emotions and mental states, commitment phobia varies and will always be different dependent on the individual. However, there are sometimes patterns present among those who suffer from this, and here are the most common causes of why commitment phobia may arise:
- Childhood abuse, trauma, or attachment issues
- Fear of abandonment
- Fear of wasting time in the “wrong” relationship
- Being hurt in the past from previous relationships, and trying everything to avoid being hurt badly again
Commitment phobia is a very complex topic and varies from person to person, so there may be a variety of other causes present. If you think the guy you’re dating is acting strange and possibly scared of commitment, take a look at vixendaily.com to discover more reasons for why he might not be willing to call you his girlfriend.
How to improve commitment phobia
Commitment phobia often features an array of complex emotions and feelings that are difficult to break through, but it 100% can be done. If you think you’re suffering from this, as long as you implement the right strategies and don’t put too much pressure yourself, you can say goodbye to your fear of commitment for good.
But, if you’ve suffered from commitment phobia for a long time, conquering it certainly won’t happen overnight. It will require dedication and you must want to change for good in order to be successful.
Different strategies and methods are available for varying degrees of commitment phobia. If you think you’re suffering from a severe case, seeking out a trained psychotherapist may be the best option. They will have specific experience surrounding commitment issues, and their expertise will be able to re-train your mindset to see relationships as something positive as opposed to negative. However, this degree of therapy is only really necessary if your anxiety is preventing you from even dating, let alone getting into a relationship.
For less severe cases of commitment phobia i.e. able to get into relationships but fearful of things getting serious and ‘too much’, so ending them after a short period of time. Counseling is a great option to just talk things through with an expert, and re-shape any trust issues you may be experiencing. But, counseling may not suit everyone, and there are a huge variety of online resources you can go to instead. Self-help websites and online support groups will give you the opportunity to realize that you’re not alone and discuss your feelings with those who are going through the exact same thing.
Often, those suffering from commitment phobia see their close friends and family members enjoying happy long-term relationships and wonder why they can’t achieve the same. Feelings of loneliness and guilt can be even more consuming that the relationship anxiety itself, and it’s important to realize that you’re not alone and that things can certainly be fixed as long as you want them to.
Occurring in many different forms and variations, commitment phobia is present in a lot of individuals. But, if you’re suffering from this problem, reassure yourself that there is a way out, and everything you’d ever want out of a relationship will happen for you.
Eve Little has a background in psychology and is now working as a relationship therapist. She shares her thoughts and insights of love around the web with her articles.